Thursday, March 25, 2010

What a night!

I couldn't write this post last night because I was so emotional last night. 

It was a great night. I coasted through most of the day with no nerves, but as the time clicked down and 4 p.m. hit-- the nerves kicked in. It was the last weigh in to determine the final three contestants. I have been fighting hard and wanted to make it to the top three so bad. 

I got home, changed clothes, gathered my Weight Watchers stuff, MP3 player and headed out to run the 2 miles to the Weight Watchers meeting. I was in my groove, running along, jamming to my music when I approached this school playground. A dad was there with his daughter and his two dogs. Well.. I guess my running spooked the dogs and they came out charging towards me. 

One dog--- a dark brown chow mut was SUPER pissed and barking like mad and slobbering-- on the attack position-- then before I knew it, he was behind me and bit me. He got me really good. Three punctures, a scrape and it bruised up immediately. I was stunned. I didn't know what to do. I yelled at the owner, who didn't even apologize or even ask if I was OK. 

Matter of fact, he didn't grab his dogs and hold on to them. (Yes, there were two). I started running again and the dogs came after me AGAIN. I was livid. However, I found myself in a pickle. I knew I needed to report this to the police cause I was sure I would be getting a shot---but, I HAD to get to my meeting and weigh in so I wasn't eliminated. 

What to do?!

I carried on with my journey to Weight Watchers. This time, I was in a funk. I was super pissed about the dog bite and nervous as heck for the evening ahead. I got to Weight Watchers and walked around and around. 

It hit me like a ton of bricks--- I couldn't believe I have been able to accomplish this amazing shedding of pounds. I couldn't stop crying just thinking about the past nine weeks. 

I have accomplished a lot in my life--- have been to a lot of places, won awards, but nothing can beat this accomplishment. (aside from marrying my best friend and giving birth to the most amazing son, of course)

Nothing can beat this accomplishment because I have overcome 20-year-old emotional baggage demons, got past excuses that have held me back from being as active as I used to be and mostly I have come to know me better--that I really can do anything I want to do and kick butt at it. I also have really come to respect myself which is something all women need to do more of. Be kinder and more patient with our bodies. 

I have also started to reverse the bad habits in my son. We used to play a game called "Cheeseburger, French Fries and Ketchup" because that's what we always ordered at restaurants. Now, I have seen my toddler pretend to go to his Weight Watcher meetings and to the gym and when he took a sip of Coke the other day with my husband, he said, "that has too many calories." LOVE IT!! 

So... all of these thoughts, emotions and the feeling of the need to barf just got to me last night. 

I lost only 1 lb. this week. It's the least I've lost in a week this whole competition. However-- I MADE IT TO THE FINAL THREE!!!

Now, it's a race to see if I'll get 2nd or 3rd place. Let's be honest, neither Kassie or me can beat Dawson. I already told him to have a blast at the Fitness Ridge. :) But...I'm shooting for 2nd place now!!

We will be live on Planet 94.1 for the final weigh in next Friday, April 2. Be sure to listen in--- 7 to 9 a.m. :)

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Never say never....

Never say never... I swore I'd never do another spin class again. I was able to do one this morning and I actually......dare I say...liked it. If my butt didn't hurt sooo bad and my feet were on fire today....otherwise it's a great class. :)

We had our weigh-in tonight and I was hoping to make my 10% goal today. I'm pleased to report that I shed 2.8 lbs which put me over my 10% goal!!! Yippee!!!

I didn't even come close to accomplishing this in the 12 weeks of Weight Watchers I tried a few years ago.

When Sue told me what I lost, I was a little sad...not remembering that would put me over. For some reason, I was thinking over 3 lbs. is what I needed. In any event, I will get my key chain next week--for those not familiar with Weight Watchers you get awards for meeting certain goals. When you reach your 10% you get a key chain that is a "10" and as you reach more and more goals, you get charms to add to it. I've seen Kassie's and I want one with lots of charms like hers!! week is our final week of voting. Thank the voting gods for that... I am TIRED of doing that not-so-fun requirement.

I definitely want to make it through until the final three-- and of course, I'd be nice to win--- but, honestly, I've already won!

I have amazing new habits that are really just make perfect sense--both eating and exercise. I have some of the greatest new friends anyone could hope to have in their lives from being a part of this contest. I have gotten on a life-long track of health and happiness.

I did start to feel sad and fearful during this last week that we won't have our Wednesday night rituals and then how am I going to do once this pressure is gone, there's no more contest and it's just me on my own.

I was feeling fearful because I have come so far-- what's the next step? So I told myself that I need to prepare NOW for AFTER the contest ends. I signed up for a triathlon on April 3--- the day after our final and have a goal to do one race each month.

In May, I'll do the Midnight 5k and will look for things to do the remainder of the months. That keeps goals for me to reach and work toward.

I have been given a tremendous gift with being able to be a part of this contest. I don't think those who chose me will ever fully realize what this has meant to me. I am a new person. I haven't had any negative thoughts about how I can't do this or do that--- I just feel renewed, I feel like I can do ANYTHING.

I can't believe this amazing journey (at least the contest part) is almost over. However... 30 lbs. is just the beginning for me. I have A LOT more 30 lbs. goals to reach!!!

Stay tuned....

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Speechless in St. George...

If you haven't noticed... I write a LOT. My degree (and passion) are in journalism--- so I tend to go on and on in the written word. A blabber mouth of the fingers I would say. Enjoy another novel...

Today was the much anticipated Freedom Run 5k! Initially it was Bonnie, Kassie, Annie (trainer) and I doing the race.

However, I was SO THRILLED that Tina, Dawson and my trainer, Colleen (pictured to the left with Dawson and me) made it as well! It seriously was awesome that they were able to come.

I wasn't really nervous for the race until we actually got up to the begin the race. I have done plenty of races in the past... but, it's been a loooooong time since I've done one jogging. My goal was to finish in 40 minutes--- I finished at 42:04 and in 13th place.

It was amazing! I felt great once I started, got into a pace and then I started letting my mind take over. Luckily, Colleen was right there. She stayed with me the whole time-- of her own will-- and was such an amazing support. Not only did she help me mentally stay strong, but we did a 2 minute run, 1 minute walk attack to the race which really helped me to make my time and do it feeling great.

As I approached the finish line, I couldn't believe I was about the complete a race-- running the majority of the time. I did one on Halloween of last year with a horrible knee and barely moving and coming in dead dead last. This was a totally new person today.

I kicked it in high gear to sprint to the finish and I was overwhelmed by emotion. I have never cried finishing a race before. I couldn't hold it back.

It was a mixture of the excitement of finishing, thrill of accomplishment, joy of making a goal and the unbelievable feelings of love and gratitude for a friend's selfless help to stay by my side and give of herself to help me accomplish all of this. Not only me, but my friend, Lestie, too. Lestie started exercising and Weight Watchers at the same time and is changing her life and is kicking trash and taking names. She's lost almost 20 lbs. herself! This was her first race. She just decided Friday to do it with me... came out... and stayed with us the whole time.

Afterwards, my son tells me..."Good job on running today and being healthy, Mom. I'm so proud of you." (He's 3 1/2 years old)

This was not only a race...but, a lesson in that this is what life is all about. We need to be more selfless and supportive of one another. I can't really do what today was like true justice--- I just don't have the words. For once, this journalist today has been speechless in St. George!

At the end of my very first post on here...after sharing my story... I said, "Here's to you, April."

I want to change that.

Here's to ME!!

Here's to accomplishing daily goals that are going to get me healthy! Here's to all the amazing people in my family, friends, strangers and their support!! Here's to my next goal---- TRIATHLON ON APRIL 3!!!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Big race...

Wow! I can't even describe what today has been like. I woke up this morning from a bad night of sleep. I was tossing and turning ALL NIGHT long last night. I was thinking-- did I do enough--- should I had that soup tonight (it was 2 point soup Weight Watcher taco soup). Then I just kept playing mind games all morning on the verge of throwing up just thinking about the weigh in tonight.

I had a good talk with Colleen, my trainer, who helped me re-group mentally.

However, it just got worse at the weigh-in. I was actually relaxed and came to grips that whatever happened...was just the way it was going to be. I know I've given 150% and you can't control the scale and you can't control what people want to do as far as voting... so I knew I would just roll with whatever.

So......... this week, I SHED 4.6 pounds!!!

I know. I am SO SURPRISED and THRILLED, too! I have had a total of 27.6 pounds gone! I wish I knew the inches... but, I haven't been measured... but, if you saw me, you could totally tell. That's an added bonus. The numbers are good, but the inches are rewarding because that's where the clothes drop off your body and that's what mine are doing. I have to find smaller sizes of my old clothes so I don't look like a bag lady with all these droopy clothes. It's an awesome problem to have!!

I also want to share something that I thinked worked for me this week. You try it and see how you do. I got this tip from Kassie who lost 5 lbs. last week. She told us after they amazing weigh-in that she started eating more often. She doesn't go longer than 2 hours without eating something. Of course, it is low point snack stuff, fruit, etc... but, it's the frequent eating that keeps the metabolism up and your body working. Try it and let me know how it works for you.

I have a 5k race on Saturday morning. I am SUPER excited about this!! I am so ready for it. Well, ready as I can be physically, but mentally... I am anxious for this great challenge.

I have to find a bike in the next couple of weeks because I have decided to do a Beginner Triathlon on April 3. I am SO PUMPED about this I can barely stand it... just gotta get a bike!!!!!!!

I'll be sure to post about my race afterwards on Saturday.... wish me luck! I am aiming for 40 minutes! It'll be tough, but it's my goal!!

Monday, March 8, 2010

What might have been....

First of all, I have to thank those that share their comments and helpful hints with me on here. I appreciate each of you coming and following me on this journey and giving me insight to your own journey as well.

So....earlier today I went to the restroom. I pulled my pants down without unbuttoning them--- because I can. It's my second pair of pants to get to baggy for me to wear and I loved being able to do that.

However, another thought came to me.

This has been such an enjoyable transition for me to get back into working out-- why did I wait so long to start this again? I think of all the time I've wasted--- almost four years (since my son was born) that I haven't done anything.

For the past two years, we have tried to get pregnant for our second child. We have done EVERYTHING we could without forking out thousands of dollars that we don't have. My doctor said that one of his other patients was in the same boat, she lost about 15 lbs. and got preggo right away.

When he said "15 pounds" I felt like this was the most insurmountable task ever given to a human being in the history of the world. I turned to food to comfort me as I tried to process this daunting task.

How could I loose that kind of weight? He's gotta see that I am in noway capable of being able to do that.

I gave up on myself before I ever even tried. I gave up before I ever gave it a second thought.

I gave up on me and I gave up on what might have been.

Now, my heart hurts when I pull down those pants without unbuttoning them. Yes, it feels AWESOME to have shed 23 POUNDS IN SIX WEEKS! There's no denying that! It hurts because of what all I could have accomplished so long ago that I might have two little ones running around the house and the brother or sister my son prays for constantly.

The same heart that hurts also is healing as I make one healthy choice after another each day. It heals a little more each time I put on my Brooks tennis shoes and go running or shake my butt in Zumba.

Yes, I'm getting in physical shape, but also emotional shape.

I can't change what I didn't do the past four years---- I wish with all my heart I could. But, I can change today, I can change what I do tomorrow and the next day.

I know many of you are probably experiencing that same HUMONGOUS FEELING of how in the world am I ever going to shed one pound, let alone many that most of us need to get rid of.

You can do it.

If I can do it, you can, too.

Go deep inside your mind, heart and find out why you're ready for this LIFE change. I am here for your journey, too.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Today has been a really hard day for me mentally. On the first Sunday of each month, in my faith, we fast. We fast for two meals. So from dinner last night until dinner tonight (Sunday) we don't eat or drink.

So, this is the part that's been hard for me mentally. I have been so strict with Weight Watchers and trying something new this week--- this totally has thrown it for a loop. It's not in my plan to have 34 points at 5 p.m. That's not what is good to do at all. But, what do you do?!?

I've done my best to make good choices in those 34 points and not go crazy-- although, allowing my taste buds to partake of about an inch size piece of Texas sheet cake tonight at my son's friend's birthday gathering was awesome and hard.

The only dessert that I've had since I've started... so for six weeks... has been a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich. And it's only been 2 or 3 of those, too. I've been really watching that weakness of mine. My tastebuds went INSANE when I had the small piece tonight. My tummy didn't appreciate it, but it felt good to have self control and go get more.

Now... I just hope today hasn't messed me up this week.

Back to the gym tomorrow!!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Pants on the ground...

It's official... I am retiring the new pair of pants I got this Christmas. They are way too loose on me. I probably could still wear them as long as I didn't jump up in the air--- but, they also don't look good on me. Isn't it awesome that the biggest pair of jeans I own don't look good on me anymore. Now the trick is just finding my old jeans that do.

(Who wants to make a denim quilt for me out of my fat pants when I'm done?!?! I ain't goin back to this weight again... might as well get a good quilt out of them to remind me of all the hard work this is taking me!! I'd make it... but, I am sewing challenged.)

So, this week has been awesome. I feel better and better with each day. I JOGGED two miles this week. I did it on two different days and stopped for what at half mile.... but I DID IT!! It felt awesome. Actually, after my mile on Monday, I wanted to keep going for more, but I had gotten my butt handed to me during the Pilates class earlier.

The amount of weight I shed this week was..... 2.8 lbs!! That gives me a total of 23 lbs. exactly gone from my body.

I am going to change a couple of things this week and I have to goals that I want to accomplish this week:

1. Eat more veggies and fruits
2. Jog two miles, three times this week
3. Shed 5.7 lbs

Those are my goals for this week. Lofty?! Yes. Reachable?! You bet!

I am also going to join a couple of other contestants in doing a 5k next Saturday. I am going to work really hard to be able to finish it in 37 minutes. That would be an hour-and-a-half faster than one that I did on Halloween of last year.

Speaking of that last 5k... I was 23 lbs. heavier then and felt every pound of that on my knees. With the weight gone and some AWESOME shoes... I am confident I can crush that time. I won't be the last one to cross the finish line this time--- guaranteed.

Here are some things I am really proud of this week:

1. Shannon--- I caught her in the hallway on Monday right before Pilates started and she came in and joined Kassie and I during our first experience with that exercise. We're all still feeling the pain two days later--- but I am SO PROUD of Shannon for keeping it up.

2. Kassie--- This is the spunkiest girl in town. I am so proud of her-- she is taking control of her life, making this work and lost an incredible 5 pounds this week. She inspired me for my 3rd goal stated above.

3. Guy--- He is being an incredible example to his family and getting healthy. He does it all with the biggest smile in Utah. He is kicking trash and wearing the garbage bag to prove it. ;)

4. Bonnie--- This lady is showing true determination. When the going gets tough, that's when Bonnie gets going. She's got a true fire within her!

5. Mike--- This is the big guns... already down over 50 lbs. I can't believe it!! He is solid. He is a freakin machine. He is fully committed to this new way of life that we're all grasping for and he's giving all he has and inspires me week after week.

6. Tina--- This is who I deem as the contest Care Bear. If she was one in real life, she would be Care-a-lot. She has the most heart and has really been there for me with some great advice and some amazing encouragement. She ROCKS my world!

7. Dawson--- This man can shake his butt like there's no tomorrow and he ain't afraid to show it either. He came to his first Zumba class a couple of weeks ago and has been a regular every since. He is a great athlete and proves that mixing it up is key because he loses 8-freakin pounds every week! What a stud!!

8. Joe--- Joe and I go way back to my early days here in St. George. I am SO proud of Joe in stepping up to this challenge for the second time and making it work. You go, Joe!!

These are the other contestants (besides Trudy which I only met at the Last Supper and briefly at the second weigh-in). These people are so dear to my heart. So is my SUPER TRAINER, Colleen... who not only trains me, but pushes me, teaches and inspires me. I have already won this contest for all the education she's given, the experiences I'm having and for the new friends I've made.