What might have been....

First of all, I have to thank those that share their comments and helpful hints with me on here. I appreciate each of you coming and following me on this journey and giving me insight to your own journey as well.

So....earlier today I went to the restroom. I pulled my pants down without unbuttoning them--- because I can. It's my second pair of pants to get to baggy for me to wear and I loved being able to do that.

However, another thought came to me.

This has been such an enjoyable transition for me to get back into working out-- why did I wait so long to start this again? I think of all the time I've wasted--- almost four years (since my son was born) that I haven't done anything.

For the past two years, we have tried to get pregnant for our second child. We have done EVERYTHING we could without forking out thousands of dollars that we don't have. My doctor said that one of his other patients was in the same boat, she lost about 15 lbs. and got preggo right away.

When he said "15 pounds" I felt like this was the most insurmountable task ever given to a human being in the history of the world. I turned to food to comfort me as I tried to process this daunting task.

How could I loose that kind of weight? He's gotta see that I am in noway capable of being able to do that.

I gave up on myself before I ever even tried. I gave up before I ever gave it a second thought.

I gave up on me and I gave up on what might have been.

Now, my heart hurts when I pull down those pants without unbuttoning them. Yes, it feels AWESOME to have shed 23 POUNDS IN SIX WEEKS! There's no denying that! It hurts because of what all I could have accomplished so long ago that I might have two little ones running around the house and the brother or sister my son prays for constantly.

The same heart that hurts also is healing as I make one healthy choice after another each day. It heals a little more each time I put on my Brooks tennis shoes and go running or shake my butt in Zumba.

Yes, I'm getting in physical shape, but also emotional shape.

I can't change what I didn't do the past four years---- I wish with all my heart I could. But, I can change today, I can change what I do tomorrow and the next day.

I know many of you are probably experiencing that same HUMONGOUS FEELING of how in the world am I ever going to shed one pound, let alone many that most of us need to get rid of.

You can do it.

If I can do it, you can, too.

Go deep inside your mind, heart and find out why you're ready for this LIFE change. I am here for your journey, too.