Mind over matter...

OK... so Ruby Tuesdays isn't out to get me!! The All-star team wasn't in the kitchen preparing my steak last week that tasted oooooooooo so good!

With 3.2 MORE pounds gone FOREVER you can't deny that this is working!!

I am not going to sugar coat this... it's a LOT of work. It's digging deep within your mind and body and pulling it all out even when you think you can't.

What I've learned this week...

-- Ruby Tuesdays has a healthy options menu available UPON REQUEST and it is YUMMY! (See post below)

After eating there last week I could not shake some pretty strong guilty feelings. I had stayed within my points, but since the food tasted so good, it had to be wrong. Then Saturday morning I only did 90 minutes of working out instead of 2 hours. Coby had to work and the day care at the gym only keeps kids for 90 minutes. I felt like I was sabotaging myself even more.

Then Monday hit... heavy homework night for my husband and he had a test. I only got in one hour of working out. I was stressing hard core.

Tuesday rolled around, I got to the gym 15 minutes later than I wanted to... still my mind was just killing me with all these guilt feelings, but I wasn't doing anything wrong.

I talked with Colleen, my trainer, about it. She really helped remind me that even though I only did an hour on Monday, it was an hour more than I did six Mondays ago. She had some other really encouraging things to say to me as well. This isn't about a 12-week process for me. This is a life change. This is a life change mentally as well.

I am proud that I never turned to food for comfort or for pity while playing these mind games with myself.

It is truly mind over matter... and since I currently I have a lot of matter :) ... there's a LOT of mind tricks that come into play.

You have to stay strong. When those negative thoughts or feelings come in... or if you're feeling guilty because that 6 point steak tasted way too good..... BREATHE. It will be OK.

I can't believe how I felt as I powered through a mental-funk week and pulled off a 3.2 pound loss! I was ready to kiss Sue (our Weight Watchers leader) and everyone else around me.

I felt true joy and pride and the most important thing--- I FELT LOVE FOR MYSELF. I know I can do ANYTHING I want to do with my mind, will and determination. And so can you.

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**7:30 tomorrow night @ Zumba..... meet me there where I'll be shaking what my Momma gave me... and then some... :)

Mind games...

This past week in our Weight Watchers meeting we talked about going out to eat and how not to be fearful of doing that. I remember the first time Coby and I went to a place that wasn't Wendy's and that wasn't in my handy Dining Out book. We went to a Mexican restaurant and I made the waitress come back 3 or 4 times before I was confident and ready to order according to my points.

As part of our lesson this week, Sue (our amazing Weight Watcher's leader) gave us an assignment to go out to eat. Sweet! One day I don't have to cook, but one more battle I just get scared about.

I wanted to branch out somewhere different. I looked up Ruby Tuesday's menu online. I know they have a fabulous salad bar there, but I wanted to see what else they had to offer. They have a whole section of healthy choices and even list the calories, fat and fiber so I could calculate the points exactly.

When we got to the restaurant, I was looking over the menu and started to panic a little bit. The items I had calculated out and planned on where no where on the menu. I grabbed my clutch--- my food journal-- and was desperately searching for the names of the items I saw online. The waitress came back to the table and I asked her about the section of healthy choices I saw online. She left and returned with a whole separate menu with all those choices. I thought how interesting that they have this secret healthy menu available... but, not even offered unless asked for specifically. Thankfully, I found my items.

I had a petite steak which was 6 points, white cheddar potatoes which were 3 points and the salad bar. They have a pretty descent lite ranch dressing as well.

Although I had calculated my points... as I finished my meal, I was kicking myself. How could food this tasty and delicious be within my points? Had I just been tricked by the kitchen staff and menu makers of Ruby Tuesdays?

I started really attacking myself that I had just blown all this hard work.

I text Tina and she helped me realize I was only feeling this way because of the contest. I was living-- and although I stayed within my points-- and food tasted really, really good--- I didn't feel like I deserved this great food.

But, I'm over that now. I did everything right to my best ability. I didn't get depressed and want to call it quits. I woke up this morning, went and kicked trash at Zumba and did a mile on the track.

The most important thing I am learning is to trust the system and just do my very best. I've also seen HUGE progress in the mental aspect, too. Don't get discouraged-- or if you do (cuz it happens)-- don't be discouraged for too long. Don't turn to any bad habits. Just resolve that if you're worried about it-- kick butt and take names the next day.

What a night!!!

So, I have to share this story... or stories about tonight at the community center.

I had just barely started my workout on the elliptical and I was concentrating and moving as much as I can.... then, I heard my name. I looked around and didn't see anyone, then looked behind me on the track was a mother and daughter that I always see at the gym. The young girl had called my name and waved to me. Of course, I waived back and thought... how do I know them?! The sweet Mom said, she's your biggest fan! I smiled so big, waved back and said thank you!

Then they walked off and then--- it hit me.

I started tearing up. She is the age I was during my whole school bus incident. I thought to myself--- WOW--- if she's my biggest fan, I want to work my VERY best and my ABSOLUTE hardest so that she will stay motivated to be healthy and hopefully never have to go through what I went through and what I carried with me--- all the hurtful words--- for 20-something years. I did my best workout on the elliptical and at Zumba tonight all for her. Next time, I gotta give her a hug for lifting me up and taking me to a whole new level.

Then... I kept going... this nice man comes beside me and asks how I like the elliptical. He's got a bum knee... and I said I LOVE them because the impact is low and the workout kicks trash. He got on and kept going and was converted! He had been doing the stationary bike, but wasn't getting near the workout as the elliptical was giving him. We talked the whole time I worked out about the contest, eating better, filling foods, Weight Watchers... basically I was telling him everything I've learned these past 4 weeks with Weight Watchers and working out. It was awesome. I am hoping he keeps moving to reach his goals, too!

As if that wasn't a great night... it got better at Zumba! We had Shannon, Guy, Dawson, Joe and me from the contest there shaking all we had. It was a blast to have some of the guys join us. They did awesome and they LOVED it. Now we just have to move Cedar City closer to St. George so Mike can join us, too!!

It was an incredible night....

Week #4...

At least I think this is week #4...

In any event, I had a really great, but interesting, week. It was a lot of mental work this week--- on top of the physical and nutritional.

It was Valentine's Day weekend and of course I wanted to go somewhere and have a nice meal. We had so much going on on Saturday (which was when we were celebrating) that by the time it was time for dinner, every restaurant was packed and we ended up at Wendy's. My chicken sandwich and baked potato was delicious, but it was a little disappointing. However, life really does go on.

So, here's what happened at tonight's weigh-in...

I LOST 2.2 POUNDS!!

So, this puts me at a total of 17 pounds! I am so thrilled!! I got below 290 lbs... so I've crossed two lines... under 300 and under 290... and still looking forward to new pounds shed next week. We did have to actually to have our first elimination tonight in the contest. It is not what I expected. I don't like this part FOR SURE. My team, the Rookies, had the lowest percentage, so we had to vote someone off. Our big guy, Mike, was voted off. Mike totally rocks and has been doing SO AWESOME. I have NO DOUBT that he will continue to kick trash and take names through the remainder of the contest and until he reaches his goals. He's got a great support system in his family and is really living-- not dieting!! ;)

Other than that...

It's been an incredible experience being able to pull my jeans off my body without un-buttoning the jeans. They're super loose and I just bought them at Christmas time. (They'll make a great quilt for my next baby).

My exercise pants also were slipping down as I was jumping rope in a class Tuesday night.

Yes, I said jumping rope. And yes, I said my pants were slipping off.

Here's to another great week ahead!! I am so lucky to have the group of people in this contest working along side me and offering all their support. I love each of them--- they are a part of my family forever and I can't wait till we all reach our goals!

A new favorite recipe...

Baked Chicken Parmesan

This delicious favorite dish of ours just got even better! One of my friends from high school shared a link to this blog where this lady has post a TON of Weight Watcher recipes.

Gina's Skinny Weight Watcher Recipes

It's a super easy recipe and for one piece it is 5.5 points. I paired it with a cup of whole wheat noodles-- 3 points and corn which is zero points. I also added a salad for more veggies. I did put a tiny amount of sauce in the noodles to give them some flavor. It is sooooo yummy and is very filling and the best part is-- low points!! (Well, filling and low points are both the best parts)

Try it out--- I promise you won't regret it!

Let me know how it goes and SHARE your favorite recipes with me... I'm always looking for some great ones, especially ones for the slow cooker!

When crawling on your knees is OK as an adult...

So... last Thursday, I went to the Body Slam class with LaRae and Tina because I've heard so much about what a great workout that class is for you. Well... I got MORE than I bargained for!!  (Yes, I still love ya, LaRae)

I think the final count of squats WITH weights was 448 and the total amount of lunges around the track WITH weights was 267. OK... at least that is what it felt like. Afterwards we went downstairs and did an hour of Zumba. 

Glutton for punishment?!?! Maybe. 

Sore all weekend? You bet!

It was AWESOME though. It was good to feel the muscles again and to work them out--- since they haven't been in a long time. At least the soreness is a great reminder that I am still living and that I have a working body. For that, I am so grateful for and am enjoying showing more appreciation for the gift I have in my body.

On Saturday, I was so incredibly sore. I did 90-minutes of Zumba, then I went and did a mile on the track--- JOGGING three laps!! :)  That was so amazing to me! I wanted to keep going, but needed to get home and actually pay attention to the mess that keeps building up since I am away so much lately. 

I could barely walk that afternoon. Matter of fact, I had to go upstairs to the bathroom and was CRAWLING up the stairs. Ben thought I was playing "puppy" since that's what we play sometimes. I was like... no sweetie, Mommy isn't being a puppy, Mommy can't walk because I' so freakin sore!

I also was really close to purchasing some adult diapers. Since we, as women, squat to use the toilet, my legs just couldn't do one more... it was SO PAINFUL to just squat to go potty. I got through it without the diapers. :)

I've been doing really great all weekend--- appreciated the day off from working out on Sunday-- and am SUPER ready for what Colleen, my super-trainer, has in store for me Tuesday night!!

When the going gets tough...

What a day!!! For the first time since I've started the Big Loser, I've had a hungry belly all day. To make matters worse, it is weigh-in day, too! I am not sure if I've exercised so much that my body "thinks" it needs more calories.... or what the deal is...but, sheesh! I just kept picturing the orange hungry mascot for Weight Watchers... and pictured him as

It didn't help that I still had 22 points at dinner time. It's not like I was starving myself... it's just the breakfast, lunch and snack I planned out gave me that many points left for the night. I still had to get my milk in, so it was really 16 points.


So...it's been a tough mental day. I've never wanted to stray from my goals... that's not been an issue... but, it's been hard to keep old habits at bay.

I've been under a LOT of stress and with that have added on GUILT. I've felt guilty of being away from my family so much while working out and not being able to do all the things Moms do--- which is everything. My husband is in school as well and his nights have been picking up the slack of feeding, entertaining and bathing our son while I'm gone to the gym.

When you're feeling these type of emotions, it's super easy to want to eat to mask those emotions. However, that doesn't solve the problem-- it just creates one.

So...... I did something I don't normally do... I expressed my feelings to my sweet and understanding hubby. I told him I was feeling an incredible amount of guilt about taking so much time away and not giving him all the time he needs for studying and so on. His words to me were... I totally support you 100%, don't ever let guilty feelings creep in. You have worthy goals and Satan just wants to get into your head and start tearing you down. Don't worry about it.

We also talked about this tonight at our Weight Watchers meeting-- putting ourselves first.

Yes, it feels selfish. Yes, I do feel guilty. But, I have to keep the end in mind and having those comforting words from my biggest supporter, my husband, is all I need to reboot and kick some more trash this week. Plus, I see the benefits in my family... we're all making better choices and my toddler loves to exercise and pretends to go to his Weight Watchers meetings.

For the record... I lost... let me type that again.... I SHED 1.2 lbs. this week!! Yes, I was hoping for more....(especially after killing myself on Foremaster Ridge)... but, it's still a SHED! :)

When the going gets tough... the tough get going!!!

Stepping it up a notch...

This week in Weight Watchers we discussed the importance of switching up your work outs and eating to keep your body working hard.

I am the type of person that can have tuna fish sandwiches every day and not get tired of them. The same with exercise. I find what I love and do it all the time. However, that can't keep going if I want to really give my body a run for its money.

So... I'm branching out with new recipes AND new exercises.

This morning I tried a spinning class for the first time. It will also be my last time, too! I did that at 8:30 this morning--- it's now mid-afternoon and my butt STILL hurts. I don't mean a little bit of pain-- I mean it constantly feels like I am sitting on a metal bar. Yeah--- it sucks!!

I am not sure how I got through that class--- I kept peddling the whole time-- except for switching butt cheeks here and there to help with the pain.

Afterwards, I went down to Zumba. I LOVE Zumba! I needed to get my cardio on since I wasn't feeling it from the spin class. We have such awesome Zumba classes--- if you haven't tried this class yet--- DO IT!! I never stop smiling the whole time. My calves never stop burning the whole time either (that's when I go to my happy place). For some odd reason, my arm flew up in the air when the instructor asked for volunteers to help lead a dance. I think my brain thought it was one dance--- turns out it was one of the fastest numbers we do. There I was.... on stage... no where to go then. I gave it ALL I had. I actually was surprised that my two left feet did as good as they did. Afterwards, I thought my heart was going to pop it was beating so fast. Holy moly!! I think in that one number I burned off 4,000 calories. OK, not really, but that's what it felt like.

Now it's time to plan this week's meals. I've always, always planned my menus a week out and shopped accordingly... but, I've tossed the old recipes I made and am working hard to find some great, Weight Watcher-friendly, yummy recipes. Luckily, I have a hubby and my son who eat anything. :)

Weigh in #2 and a surprise visit...

At tonight's Weigh In... we had a special guest visit with us. Here is St. George (or the neighboring city, Ivins) is the Biggest Loser Fitness Ridge Resort.

Seth Word, from Season 2, came and spoke with us about some of his personal battles. For those that don't know him, his photo on the left is his after photo. If you Google Seth Cloud, you'll see his before pics and so on. In any event, he came in second place during his season.

He's got a great story of personal triumph and mental toughness that I loved hearing about.

I just finally Hulu'd this season's first episode and that was my first time actually seeing the Biggest Loser show (however, no one told me to have tissues with me...sheesh)

In any event, it was awesome... he's totally humble and we got official Biggest Loser calendars and T-shirts and I got my picture taken with Seth and I'll post it when I get a copy.

And so........ now for this week's weigh-in............

I lost 3.6 pounds!!

I didn't know what to expect and was warned that the second week is the dreaded week... but, with that info, I feel really great about what I was able to shed!!

I am going to be trying some new WW recipes out this week (and forever--- :) ) and will be sure to post some of my yummy favs on this blog!

Test day...

Things have been going so awesome with working out and with Weight Watchers... I've felt like a new woman each day!

But today.... not so much.

It's just one of those days that you feel like everything in the world is conspiring against you. The pressures that come with life compound and all you want to do is hide.

I had an epiphany this afternoon coming home from work. I work part-time and right now is a really stressful time at work. Other than that, I forgot to put the dinner I had planned into the crock pot so I was stressing what I was going to fix that would be Weight Watcher-worthy.

I pulled into my driveway, walked to the front door and the thought came to me--- food will help solve these feelings of pressure and stress.

Thankfully, my mind recognized what was going on and new thoughts came to my mind--- 'no, Jill... You're stronger than this, you don't need food.' Relax, fix another meal you've planned this week that is easier and stick to your points program.

I did.

It was a moment of triumph for me!!

Before, I used food as a form of power and "staying in control" when all I was doing was spinning out of control.

This evening turned out to be the best moment for me so far. After dinner, some cleaning, laundry and tucking in my son and hubby, I went for a long walk. I think Monday's will be my official outside walking days since all the other days are spent working out indoors. It's refreshing to the mind and body to go walking outside. It was an hour of clearing my head and relaxing.

Will there be more down days? Sure. Lots.

Will I have the will power to get through them? Yes. I discovered something in me tonight that I've never had before--- WILL POWER!